Keep The Family Close...-DRAKE

Get into it...

I nodded my head yes , and then asked for an additional five grand, bringing the grand payment to 15 grand to do the job :”because everything is so last minute and I have to switch my –“

Bank’s held up his hand, which cut me off and said, “fine. Now can you tell me which lingerie place you are headed to-you have to go this moment-or tell me a number so I can give you some petty cash”

“I need 1,500, and I am going to this place on –“

He held his hand up again to stop any explanation

“Ryndra, I don’t care…Vee…”, he said into the intercom, “Give R. a ‘G’ from the restaurants petty cash”

He looked up at me, “what’s this place called again?”

I sighed, “Rigby and Peller”

“Yeah, I have never heard of that so, you get a grand.”

I grabbed my purse and turned before rolling my eyes and a grand out of my hand.

In the cab, I called the store and asked for them to wrap the  “Andres Sarda teddy in medium”.

“Ma’am, we prefer –actually we require that clients be measured for-“

Back in charge of my conversations, I cut her off: “I know, and if time permits-I will submit to a measurement-but it doesn’t look like it will.”

I could hear her opening her mouth to explain the stores policy, so I said the one thing I knew would change the stores policy:

“I am paying in cash. Can you gift-wrap the item with tissue paper and that special small batch perfume you give all of the clients making purchases over 400.00? Maybe speed up my fitting?” I asked innocently, like I didn’t already know the answer.

Considering the item cost 325.00 and I offered her a 75 dollar tip for 1 minutes work-maybe even less. For a skinny white symmetrically faced  woman with big city dreams, that’s a good deal. I was ready for the “yes” that pushed through the receiver seconds later, even though I was prepared to up my offer to 150.00-she didn’t need to know that. Nope , not after she said yes.

“That’s wonderful, thank you for your time and assistance Marie, I will see you in approximately thirty minutes” and I ended the call.

    When I got to the store, I changed and adjusted myself in one of their ‘velvet curtained ‘dressing rooms- putting my day attire in the gift packaging and wrapping myself only in the light trench I carried , knowing Tone was going to be on that old shit’ He liked making you do whatever it was he had asked you to do the first time. He liked to only keep people with a strong history of listening in his circle. He liked to keep the failure to listen rate, as he called it at 0%. So, as it stood-I was out of the money making circle –until this got done.

  
  ‘None of these  people better accuse me of stealing either’, I thought as I hurried out the door. Though I wondered what the gift card to keep me quiet about the incident would look like, I knew I didn’t have time and whatever it was,  it wouldn’t be anywhere close to the 15 Grand , that could buy more than lingerie, that Tone was paying.

    The cab driver passed back the box with the ‘Unisa Joico’ insignia on it-that he had picked up from DSW while I was changing at Rigby & Peller. I put them on immediately , as I would be hopping right out of the cab and slipping into the door of the location an institution known as ‘Saint Venus’  was having it’s “Sexual Healing Party” . I went to the front desk and was given a room key for the 4^th floor .It was really nice, not that I expected anything less than the plush white sheets-similar to the ones I had put on hold at Macy’s for the new spot I wanted to manifest. The floor plan was open, with glass walls…I suppose they wanted to lie in bad while watching people shower after sex. This would be a nice spot to unwind, after I ‘Made the money’. I didn’t want to think too hard about all of this , but  I really didn’t expect  hotel 1 central park to have agreed to a rental of two floors , for a sex party. They had to know-both floors were comprised of suites and adjoining junior suites-like the one I was in.

     Why else would a bunch of rich white people, who probably weren’t related, need rooms with adjoining doors? why would they rent the entire floor and ban staff access for a full 29 hours. They didn’t want any room service, or outside deliveries-AT ALL!.  I mean really? I suppose it was the money. At 300.00 a night for a most basic room-with no included breakfast-I suppose a concierge isn’t asking someone spending over fifty racks for a day or so, a whole lot of questions. Any questions that needed asking, would be directed to Benjamin. It was worrisome, as I knew more than some sex would probably be going down this evening; probably some coke, week, possibly meth and sex slave nonsense would come up as well. However, as long as I got my money-that couldn’t have a thing to do with me.

     I had been told this situation was that discreet and to tell no one where I was headed or why I was heading there. Thinking about everything in detail made a chill go up my spine as I already knew I would have to explain something to Gerald, when I finally reached home.  I was racking my mind about where to stash the cash; I didn’t want to risk taking it home and meeting Gerald at my door. He would probably push his way in my house, and probably search my bag…like he did a few nights after I thought I was cutting off contact with him for good.

***

    Weeks earlier, I had been out all day -making runs and dealing with a dental appointment –to avoid Gerald asking me to accompany him on a run. That wasn’t happening, his run out of town represented a rare opportunity for me to move somethings around in my house. Things that could turn my home into world war 2 if found by him. I couldn’t allow that.

   When I finally got a moment to myself, I locked my apartment door and sent a quick text  to Gerald:

"Where are you"

He probably thought it was me being sweet and concerned, when I really just wanted to get a location on him-hopefully one no where near where I was. I didn't have to wait too long for a response:

"On a job" , he replied . "Driving through Pennsylvania"

'What a relief ', I thought about how much stuff I could get done with him not under my ass. I wanted to be able to do what was necessary, without interruption. I wanted to handles some unfinished business before I changed residences -as based on the earlier digital apartment viewings; it was something that , if I got the cash ,could happen any day now. I need the space to leave some time to get myself in order -should anything I discovered take me to a dark place

    What I was about to do , I understood, could bring about a cathartic outburst if emotion; one that my take a few hours to calm-I know me .  I gripped the edges of my bed and pushed it up like a door hinge was at one end of the box spring. And opens, revealing almost all of the letters  I had mailed to Chimeze - as he had  sent them all back.

    The good news was that after counting all 250 of them, I knew they were all there-undisturbed; so Gerald hasn't doing them. I breathed a sigh of relief -heavy relief . Gerald would have pitched a fit, if he knew I was still writing, pining for or even missing Chimeze in the most minuscule way. These letters were evidence of all of that and more; enough evidence to have me beaten And probably chained to the bed so I couldn't leave, write, or do anything without Gerald permission. I was thinking about escaping this negro for good, so I couldn’t allow that to happen.

    The letters were the most honest representation of what Gerald had put me through. As I suspected, while reading them -all these months later, all of my letters showed  evidence of a women going through  severe emotional ups and downs. I saw some clear lies that I had written , and flashed back to when I committed them to paper.

   "Whatever it takes To get him back" I was thinking at the time, even in the midst of not knowing what I was talking about: doesn't he feel badly for making me go through this all alone’, I thought as I scribbled endlessly .that was probably the moment I wrote the paragraph detailing every moment I was his champion, and then the following paragraph that detailed all of the moments he failed to be mine-ending with this one .

     None of this details were lies, but the spirit of the letters didn't parallel the me, I knew myself to be , all those months ago. I remembered being scared -for myself -totally , because I didn't know what to do. I also knew that although I had started this -this thing . Even though Chimeze had cheated -to me- and neglected me sexually and numerous other ways -I didn't cheat for revenge ; I just had needs that 'Meze had failed to fulfill- After numerous opportunities . I felt like he just wasn’t interested.

     It took the cheating and a full on confession to get his attention . And even after all of that , he didn't show any signs of change . Furthermore, after I came clean and didn’t sexually involve myself with Gerald, this was when Chimeze got accusatory.

     That annoyed me ; like, you were ‘Ray Charles’ when I was cheating on you-but now want to nitpick , follow me around and accuse me of being a liar, when I revealed a truth to you that you never would have seen otherwise. Also, he never took the opportunity to make things right seriously. I wonder how many men let their lonely fat friends tell them when they should stop believing in and supporting ‘the woman’ in their lives? I really wonder if I ever was that. It would seem if I was, he would have never stopped being supportive.

      Also it was like he didn’t understand that the closer we became, the more threatened they would be; all things that gave women with few other options ,besides a platonic male friend desperate for company and leadership, motive to destroy. This is why I never did like a man with too many female friends, and he cemented the fact that my next significant lover couldn’t have any female friends. If I am fucking you, sucking you and spending money on you –I am not willing to be examined and subject to second guessed inserted in my dudes mind by women who didn’t want too. Surely if they were interested they would have…

    Looking at the letters now , some of the goals i set for myself still were just being completed-almost-possibly- a year later . I frowned up at the fact that it really took that long. Even I wouldn’t have guessed it would take this amount of time, but what can you do? I mean really? What the fuck can you do?

    Looking at the clock, and seeing it was only an hour from the time Gerald could return, I opened my little closet, where I kept my big cash behind a false wall ; safe from Gerald, the IRS, prying relatives and my mother …At this juncture, I was even glad I had kept the location a secret from even Chimeze ; for all I knew he may have decided to have a fireside chat with Gerald about my money to teach me a lesson.

   Shit! I wish he would learn the lesson about trusting people who didn’t know what they were doing to tell him what to do. First there was his mother and the house he bought to have foreclosed and ruin his credit –and to be honest, his appeal to most women. You can build with someone who has a broken foundation. When will the people of the African diaspora learn that sometimes your own family will prey on you to stay afloat. His mom and dad tied up his money in their holding in the U.S , so they could support their other children and build a home in their home country-while the bank marched in and snatched his present, and future dream-for the next ten years or so.

    I’ve seen what families can do, and how sometimes black families in particular can hold their members back-for the sake of the unit. This is particularly prevalent with young black women. That’s why I moved out of my momma’s house young, and accepted the ups , the downs, the bumps and this case lumps and bruises. ‘Shit let the world mistreat me-it doesn’t owe me a thing, but I cant continuously allow my family to mistreat me –as if they paid for the privilege via blood. ‘There isnt enough blood in the world’, I thought , as I stuffed the envelopes –organized by date-the side of the cash, which was almost piled 3 feet high. The last time I had the chance to count, it was 900.000. My goal was to stack a mill before I purchased a safe.

  However, with the way things were looking, I would have an investment that could take in all of this money. I said a quick prayer before replacing the flexible drywall that hit my way out.

  I was glad I counted on Gerald trying to surprise me that day . He decided to forgo the doorway and came up the fire-escape , only seconds after I checked on my escape plan.

***

   I had dozed off for a moment, because I felt myself jerked awake by the sharp rattling of the door. I was like someone was trying to get in-with a key . I was confused, as Banks didn’t tell me I’d be sharing a room. It was probably some early, drunk attendees of the event. I put my stern face on , ready to tell them to ‘get the fuck on’ in a way that wouldn’t have me leaving this party without my money.

   For once, I knew the person on the other side with a ‘fucked up surprise, wasn’t Gerald-as the security here was too tight ( and white) for his angry looking ass to blend. I  quickly unclipped the snap lock on the door and opened the door.:

“Ryndra W.?” asked a really cute tall, over six foot, dark chocolate person, standing in my hotel room door frame.

I nodded , confused but eager to see what he wanted with me.

“I am Ray,the security for this venue. I need you to come with me”

I had 5,000 of the hard stuff, Adderall , mixed bumps, and pain pills of various strengths  tucked in various places on the inner seam of my lingerie. I had spend the time the cab was stuck in traffic
 –lightly sewing the packages to my garment. It didn’t seem like Ray was going to allow me the time to dispose of these items. I was stuck on stupid thinking that Banks may have set me up as a punishment for our meeting a few months ago.

I just decided to stay cool .

“I just need to go to the-“

“There’s no time for that”, Ray replied, placing his right hand firmly on right arm-guiding me out of the room.

“Do you have your key” , I just stared at him, worried and confused
.

“The key to your room?” , he clarified.

I nodded, before he glided into the recently arrived elevator, sliding me in with him while simultaneously pressing the “L’ for lobby. 

                                                                                  MOOD